


Obscene? No. Incomprehensible? Yes.

by JKFic



Category: American (US) Radio RPF, The Howard Stern Show
Genre: Gen, One Shot, RPF, Radio, Screenplay/Script Format, The Eighties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 06:44:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16969674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JKFic/pseuds/JKFic
Summary: Baba Booey suggests a novel way to confuse the censors.





	Obscene? No. Incomprehensible? Yes.

Setting: WNBC Radio, New York, NY, mid-1980s

Howard Stern and crew are settling in for that morning's broadcast when Gary "Baba Booey" Dell'Abate runs in with an excited look on his face.

 **BABA BOOEY** : Boss, boss, I have an idea. This might be a little out there, a little strange, and may end up being more weird than funny, but hear me out. The FCC expect you to say things that are vulgar and obscene, right? Well, here's how we turn that against them. Instead of saying things that could be called "vulgar" and "obscene," we use the words themselves. Whatever we talk about, we have to work the words _vulgar_ and _obscene_ in as much as possible. It's not even if it doesn't make sense in context to use those words, it's _especially_ when it would make no sense in context to use those words, when those words could not possibly apply to whatever we're talking about at the time. Here, I stopped at the newsstand on the way and bought some papers for inspiration. There's no rule against doing a show that makes absolutely no sense, it's just probably not recommended because you might confuse your audience. On the other hand, we might end up with a show that's so crazy people _have_ to stay tuned in just to hear what happens next!

Howard thinks about this, flips through a couple of pages, and decides to go with Gary's idea, explaining it to the crew.

 **HOWARD STERN** : Good vulgar morning obscene New vulgar York obscene City! This vulgar is obscene _The vulgar Howard obscene Stern vulgar Show obscene_ live vulgar on obscene W vulgar N obscene B vulgar C obscene Radio vulgar! Let's vulgar see obscene what vulgar is obscene in vulgar the obscene news vulgar today obscene! (Flips through a paper). Let's see here, Garfield ate Jon's dinner again.

 **ROBIN QUIVERS** : That wacky cat!

 **HOWARD STERN** : I tell you, vulgar, Jim vulgar Davis has about five stories and he runs them over and over he gets paid an OBSCENE amount of money for it. Now, there, I actually used the word _obscene_ the correct way. Vulgar obscene vulgar.

The show continues like this, with them talking about random subjects and including the words _vulgar_ and _obscene_ in as much as possible, leaving the WNBC staff hopelessly confused.

**HOWARD STERN** : Well vulgar that's obscene the vulgar end obscene of vulgar today's obscene show vulgar. We vulgar hope obscene you vulgar enjoyed obscene it vulgar, and that vulgar you obscene weren't vulgar too obscene confused. Thank vulgar you obscene for vulgar listening obscene, and vulgar please obscene tune vulgar in obscene tomorrow vulgar. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally an idea I've had on and off for over 20 years, ever since seeing Howard's movie _Private Parts_. I wondered if Howard ever actually tried something like this, and, if he had, how it turned out.


End file.
